Author: Betsy Wright

Here in New York, we’ve been in school for a little more than 2 weeks. I don’t about you but this is about the time the new school year energy starts to wear off. The everything’s new and exciting shine has faded a little. There might even already be a stain on your new classroom carpet or a peeling letter to two on your Pinterest-worthy back-to-school board. Maybe you’re even starting to feel the weight of a to-do list that keeps growing or a particularly challenging student concern.

I’ve definitely been there – starting to feel buried under the job when we’ve just started And if you’re anything like me, that’s also when my brain starts chiming in with all sorts of negative chatter. I’m so disorganized. I need to have a better system for that. If I was better at _____________, then this wouldn’t happen like that. More experienced leaders would know how to handle this. Who do I think I am anyway. This group is going to see right through me and realize I don’t have any idea what I’m doing …. phew – just writing that made me have to take a deep breath to relax. This thought pattern is exhausting and makes the challenging stuff even harder.

I recently decided to take up running again. I have always wanted to be a runner but as someone who was always overweight and never an athlete growing up, it always seemed like a ridiculous idea. I dabbled in it from time to time when I was in my twenties and around the time I had my girls – but it never really sticks. Well here we go with round number 7529 of trying to be a runner. I found an 8-week 5K training program and laced up my sneakers.

It was hard – every time I got on treadmill – hard. I wanted it to be easy but it wasn’t. The virtual coach would say things like “you’re starting to settle in now” and I’d scoff a “not even close” to myself as I shuffled along. As the negative chatter started I had to decide if I was going to listen and give up or keep going. I started to add to my negative chatter with a reframe. My brain said “This is hard” and I followed it with “but you can do hard things.” My brain said “you can’t do this” and I followed it with “I showed up today.” I just kept telling myself the good stuff and letting the negative stuff float by. Three or four weeks in I kept showing up and lacing up my sneakers and turning on the treadmill. You know what, it didn’t get easy. Every week, every training run, felt hard – but I started to not mind it as much. Yes, the run was longer than the one before and I was tired before I even started but I kept showing up. I kept finding ways to tell myself I was doing this even when the negative chatter was telling me to give up. The running didn’t feel easier but the experience was easier – it didn’t feel like the runs were so long (even though they were) and I felt lighter while I did them.

I showed up, eight training weeks later, on race day for my first 5K in at least a decade. I was nervous but the course was cool and my husband and youngest daughter signed up to run it too. I kept to the back of the pack at the start line. I wasn’t there to win. I showed up.

The race took place on the runways of a local airport. This is also home to the Air National Guard Unit that supplies the research facilities in Antarctica. I got to run right past the giant supply planes with the skis on them – you can see them distance.

I made it almost the whole way and stopped to walk for two short chunks in that last mile. I didn’t beat myself up for it. I didn’t give up and walk the rest of it. I took the break and then got right back to it. I high-fived my husband and daughter as I came down the chute and crossed that finish line.

So what does taking up running have to do with the impulsive kid in your classroom who already knows how to push all of your buttons … the one you don’t think you can do another 165 days with this year?

It isn’t always going to be easy. Everyday won’t have the energy and excitement of the first few days. How you talk to yourself matters – especially when it gets hard. What will you tell yourself when something doesn’t go as planned or you didn’t get as far in the lesson as you wanted to? How will you talk to yourself when the new break area you created for your students doesn’t get used at all and it’s been weeks? What will you say to yourself when a parent is upset with you about something that happened at recess or you boss doesn’t like your idea for a writing celebration or bulletin board?

I’m not looking for toxic positivity here. If the dumpster is literally burning around you, don’t think a plant mister will make anyone believe everything is fine. I’m saying let’s reframe the thinking a little bit. The lesson that didn’t go as planned or that you didn’t get all the way through doesn’t mean you don’t know how to plan and you should just quit. It means you tried something out and now you can reflect on any parts that did work and tweak the parts that didn’t. You could even revamp it and try it again tomorrow. Students not using your new break area doesn’t mean you don’t know how to manage your classroom. It is an opportunity to reteach the purpose and when to you the break area.

It doesn’t matter what role you have, working in education is hard. No two days are the same and that’s one of the things I love about it. Remember you did the hardest part when you showed up. It won’t always be easy but don’t make it harder by being mean to yourself along the way. You’ve got this!

The beginning of a school year is filled with excitement and opportunity. There is nothing quite like the first day of school energy – a mix of anticipation, joy, and anxiety. The smell of freshly sharpened pencils wafts down hallways and classrooms sparkle from all the hard work of teachers and staff. Getting to start over again every year is one of the unique perks of working in education. At the end of each school year we have an opportunity to reflect on what worked and what didn’t work and adjust our systems for the next year. When the beginning of the year comes around, we set up schools and classrooms with those plans and look forward to all the new opportunities that are coming.

As educators, we are planners. We organize our schools and classrooms and plan for how students will use spaces. We organize our months and weeks for the coming school year of activities, assemblies, special projects, and field trips. We map out daily lesson plans to ensure we teach the content students will need this year.

In all that planning for this year, have you planned how you will take care of yourself? I know so many of you just rolled your eyes at that sentence. I get it! As educators we give of ourselves constantly and it’s not just in the school building. Many of got into this line of work because we wanted to make a difference and stopping to take care of ourselves can often feel like we’re wasting precious time. I also know that educators are leaving our profession in droves because they are burnt out – constantly pushing against a system that tells us we have to do more because its “for the kids.” So while this post isn’t about the gaslighting of educators (perhaps you’ll see that in a future post), it is important to acknowledge that we are taught to believe that educators have to be all in for the students often at the expense of our own well-being. I’m here telling you it is possible to love your job, your staff and/or students and also love yourself enough to set clear boundaries and take care of yourself. I’ll say it again for those of you who really need to hear this –

It is possible to love your job, your staff and/or students and also love yourself enough to set clear boundaries and take care of yourself.

About three weeks ago, I was gearing up for another back-to-school season. Summer vacation was beginning to wind down and the first days back for staff and students were rapidly approaching. I started to notice a familiar tightness in my shoulders, a shallowness to my breathing, the beginning of a knot in my stomach. Many of us know those physical sensations in our body brought on by stress or anxiety. As a principal, I had a lot of tasks still on my summer list that weren’t yet completed and worries about how the new school year would start given our building was still in the throws of construction. I was also scheduled to be in a neighboring state the following week to facilitate a training that I would be delivering for the first time and preparing for a virtual class that was also new. I was telling myself I had to stay late at the office to work on preparing for the teacher’s first day and then I needed to spend the whole weekend preparing for these classes, even though I had already logged many hours of preparation into them. Here’s the thing, that weekend was our annual summer “camping” trip with my grandmother so there was no way that was actually going to happen.

My grandmother, Gram to us and GG to her great grandchildren, is a force to be reckoned with. She is 95 years young and is a beacon of strength and positivity for our family. She enjoys sharing her love of nature and outdoor activity with her family and request that we all spend time together “camping” in the summer. I put camping in quotes because everyone’s definition of what constitutes camping is different. In my childhood, Gram would take us to the state parks in the RV. Now that we are grown we rent a cabin/house in the woods someplace nearby. Nonetheless, Gram loves spending the time with her family and this weekend was important to her so it was important to me.

I reluctantly packed up and left the office in the early afternoon as planned. I tried to accommodate my anxiety and packed my laptop and iPad so I could review my presentations and work on the class content. My daughter and I arrived at the cabin just in time for dinner that Friday night. We engaged in dinner conversation and my daughter and niece were in their own world talking about middle school and many other things. I was thinking about when I could grab my iPad and focus on my presentation. After dinner, they set up the firepit outside for s’mores and I was thinking about how long we had to be out there because I wanted to get some work done. So I organized and prepped some more – this time it was who had their marshmallow stick and how quickly could we get these s’mores made assembly-line style so we could wrap this up. I hope no one noticed I was rushing the evening. As we transitioned back inside, the girls discovered the board games and began a rousing game of Bananagrams. I paused as I across the room from them with my iPad out and chuckled at how they were using their phones to search what words they could build with the tiles they had. They were just having fun and enjoying each other.

As the evening wore on, we began to transition to bed. I made a plan to get up early and get some work done. When my alarm went off the next morning I crawled out of bed, gathered my things, and tiptoed down the very creaky stairs. It was early and I knew no one else would be up for a while. The girls had been up late playing games and talking and my mom and Gram like to sleep in. I made a cup of coffee and headed outside. It was a beautiful crisp morning.

There was a gentle fog still floating on the water and the world was quiet. I padded down to the dock and took it all in. As I sat there I could feel my shoulders lower and loosen and I was able to breathe deeply. I sat there on the dock and drank my coffee and didn’t rush back to my work. I made space for me that morning. Some ducks paddled by enjoying their breakfast of bugs on the water’s surface. The sky slowly lit up more and transitioned from orange and pink to a beautiful bright blue and the fog swept across the water with the slight breeze as it began to burn off for the day. I was reminded that spending time in nature is grounding for me and helps me refocus and relax.

I returned to the cabin a little lighter and as I everyone began waking up and we started our day together I was able to focus on how fortunate I am to have these moments with four generations under one roof. We spent the day sharing the things that my mom and Gram love.

I drove to the neighboring state at the end of the weekend and delivered my presentation. I returned to school the next day and continued preparations for returning staff.

The to-do list didn’t change because I sat on the end of the dock and enjoyed the view with my coffee but my perspective and attitude toward it did. In taking care of myself, taking some quiet time to recharge and refocus, I was able to be more present with my family and stress less about work.

I’m not telling this story because I think you need to spend a weekend in the woods – but if that’s your jam then I highly recommend it. I am telling you this so you can reflect and think about what you jam is. What makes you feel joy, peace, grounded? For me, it’s nature. I am fortunate to live in an area where a wide variety of natural experiences are within minutes to a few hours drive. I am committed to planning time in nature every week to help me maintain that peace and grounding that it brings.

Maybe you’re thinking there’s no way this can work for you. You have an infant and toddler at home or are caring for an aging parent. Maybe you work two other jobs on top of being an educator so there’s absolutely no time for extended activities or reflection. I get it – our lives are full and busy. I challenge you to then think of what you can do. Start small – try taking a deep breath when you’re standing at the photocopier.

Maybe you hate nature because – you know – bugs! My grounding activity doesn’t have to be your grounding activity. I’m giving you permission to find what works for you. You don’t like nature but you love music? Create a playlist for your drive to work or pop in your earbuds and play your favorite song while you’re putting papers in kids mailboxes.

There are an infinite number of ways, big and small, that you can take care of yourself. Climb a mountain, run a 5K, drink your coffee while it’s still hot, visit a museum or art exhibit, get your nails done, splurge on your new favorite beverage and window shop at that fancy shopping plaza, plan you meals for the week, plan your outfits for the week. Find what works for you and commit to doing it regularly.

What will you do this week to take care of yourself?