Humanity in leadership

I was recently listening to Brene Brown’s latest book, Strong Ground¹, and was reminded about the distinction between managers and leaders:

Managing is a craft — the art of structure, consistency, and execution.
Leading is a craft — the art of vision, alignment, and inspiration.

Both are necessary for organizations and I think you need to be both especially in educational leadership where we wear so many different hats. What has been sticking with me lately is that we can easily get stuck focusing on managing and not ever get the opportunity to shift into leading – especially when it comes to people.

As a building leader, I am in a people business. Whether we’re talking about kids or adults, human beings are at the heart of what I do every single day. Yet sometimes in leadership we can lose sight of that humanity when focused on the operations and management of daily life.

A staff member comes into the office in the afternoon, visibly upset, and asks to leave mentioning something about needing to get to the vet and bad news. They still have an hour of classes left.

At the end of a long school day, you receive a radio call from a bus driver that there isn’t anyone out to get a student off the bus. The transportation office gets a hold of a parent who communicates there was a family mix up and the person who was supposed to be there won’t be. The kiddo is brought back to school and the parent can’t pick up for at least an hour – that’s almost two hours past the regular dismissal time.

A staff member had an injury that requires physical therapy and they are worried about taking off a ton of time for the appointments.

A staff member has a sick family member who has been hospitalized. They had planned to take the afternoon off when the family member was being released to transport them home but the doctor called and they were being released that morning instead.

In each of these situations there is a decision to made about how to show up in the way I address them. How I show up impacts the way people feel about being part of my school community and how they view me. Do I address situations in black and white ways? Can I be easily manipulated by pulling on heart strings? What do I value and emphasize? How I show up in these daily decisions matters.

I choose to stay connected to the humanity of being in the people business while also being grounded in data of the situations.

But let’s be clear – being a good human doesn’t mean I am a pushover.

Each situation requires intentional decision making.

The parent who had mix up with the family pick up arrangement might be having a really difficult day and their village didn’t show up to support them. Now they’re scrambling to pick up their student and they’re over an hour away for work. Being scolded by the principal about pick up times and reminded about the dismissal time doesn’t help in this situation. However, what is the data here also – is this the first time this has happened with the family or fifth? If it’s the first time, being flexible and giving them grace in a potentially tough situation makes sense. If it’s the fifth time, acknowledge the pattern, offer support, and explain the protocols. Following up with the family the next day to discuss barriers and solutions to prevent this from happening sends a message that we’re here to help but we’re also holding you accountable to figure this out.

Medical issues with family members, human or animal, can be approached the same way. Have a list of people who can be available to cover classes in the event of staff emergencies can be helpful in the moment when you need to flex quickly. Are those same people options for coverage for people who can get early morning or late afternoon appointments? In the moment, see the human in front of you. Someone who just got really bad news about a beloved pet. A child struggling to care for an aging parent. Someone who’s hurting and trying to manage pain and recovery alongside working.

Just like with the family pick up example, recognize the difficult situation and also check the data. Is this the first time or fifth time? Does this staff member always seem to schedule those later afternoon appointments for Friday or early appointments on Monday? Is this a rare occurrence or a weekly occurrence? When the data show us patterns, we have an opportunity to offer additional support. Pull in that staff member at another time and discuss the pattern with them. You are acknowledging the difficulty but also bringing awareness to the impact on operations and can problem solve. In my experience, the majority of these situations that pop up are rare occurrences for the staff member. Giving them grace and allowing them the time they need to address things show staff you value them as people not just as positions.

Creating a culture where people matter starts with the intentional decisions we make that show people they matter. If we truly want to put students at the center of everything we do then as leaders we need to put the people who support our students at the center of what we do.