It isn’t always easy.

Here in New York, we’ve been in school for a little more than 2 weeks. I don’t about you but this is about the time the new school year energy starts to wear off. The everything’s new and exciting shine has faded a little. There might even already be a stain on your new classroom carpet or a peeling letter to two on your Pinterest-worthy back-to-school board. Maybe you’re even starting to feel the weight of a to-do list that keeps growing or a particularly challenging student concern.

I’ve definitely been there – starting to feel buried under the job when we’ve just started And if you’re anything like me, that’s also when my brain starts chiming in with all sorts of negative chatter. I’m so disorganized. I need to have a better system for that. If I was better at _____________, then this wouldn’t happen like that. More experienced leaders would know how to handle this. Who do I think I am anyway. This group is going to see right through me and realize I don’t have any idea what I’m doing …. phew – just writing that made me have to take a deep breath to relax. This thought pattern is exhausting and makes the challenging stuff even harder.

I recently decided to take up running again. I have always wanted to be a runner but as someone who was always overweight and never an athlete growing up, it always seemed like a ridiculous idea. I dabbled in it from time to time when I was in my twenties and around the time I had my girls – but it never really sticks. Well here we go with round number 7529 of trying to be a runner. I found an 8-week 5K training program and laced up my sneakers.

It was hard – every time I got on treadmill – hard. I wanted it to be easy but it wasn’t. The virtual coach would say things like “you’re starting to settle in now” and I’d scoff a “not even close” to myself as I shuffled along. As the negative chatter started I had to decide if I was going to listen and give up or keep going. I started to add to my negative chatter with a reframe. My brain said “This is hard” and I followed it with “but you can do hard things.” My brain said “you can’t do this” and I followed it with “I showed up today.” I just kept telling myself the good stuff and letting the negative stuff float by. Three or four weeks in I kept showing up and lacing up my sneakers and turning on the treadmill. You know what, it didn’t get easy. Every week, every training run, felt hard – but I started to not mind it as much. Yes, the run was longer than the one before and I was tired before I even started but I kept showing up. I kept finding ways to tell myself I was doing this even when the negative chatter was telling me to give up. The running didn’t feel easier but the experience was easier – it didn’t feel like the runs were so long (even though they were) and I felt lighter while I did them.

I showed up, eight training weeks later, on race day for my first 5K in at least a decade. I was nervous but the course was cool and my husband and youngest daughter signed up to run it too. I kept to the back of the pack at the start line. I wasn’t there to win. I showed up.

The race took place on the runways of a local airport. This is also home to the Air National Guard Unit that supplies the research facilities in Antarctica. I got to run right past the giant supply planes with the skis on them – you can see them distance.

I made it almost the whole way and stopped to walk for two short chunks in that last mile. I didn’t beat myself up for it. I didn’t give up and walk the rest of it. I took the break and then got right back to it. I high-fived my husband and daughter as I came down the chute and crossed that finish line.

So what does taking up running have to do with the impulsive kid in your classroom who already knows how to push all of your buttons … the one you don’t think you can do another 165 days with this year?

It isn’t always going to be easy. Everyday won’t have the energy and excitement of the first few days. How you talk to yourself matters – especially when it gets hard. What will you tell yourself when something doesn’t go as planned or you didn’t get as far in the lesson as you wanted to? How will you talk to yourself when the new break area you created for your students doesn’t get used at all and it’s been weeks? What will you say to yourself when a parent is upset with you about something that happened at recess or you boss doesn’t like your idea for a writing celebration or bulletin board?

I’m not looking for toxic positivity here. If the dumpster is literally burning around you, don’t think a plant mister will make anyone believe everything is fine. I’m saying let’s reframe the thinking a little bit. The lesson that didn’t go as planned or that you didn’t get all the way through doesn’t mean you don’t know how to plan and you should just quit. It means you tried something out and now you can reflect on any parts that did work and tweak the parts that didn’t. You could even revamp it and try it again tomorrow. Students not using your new break area doesn’t mean you don’t know how to manage your classroom. It is an opportunity to reteach the purpose and when to you the break area.

It doesn’t matter what role you have, working in education is hard. No two days are the same and that’s one of the things I love about it. Remember you did the hardest part when you showed up. It won’t always be easy but don’t make it harder by being mean to yourself along the way. You’ve got this!